You've Changed

Happy New Year to you all.

Long term readers will know that I'm a bit of a Luddite at heart.

I've written on the evils of mobile phone ownership, dismissing one attempt to persuade me to get one, as it would be a boon to my social life by claiming I didn't want one! I never had (or wanted) a PC at home until becoming a late convertee to the internet and the very idea of taking part in social networking sites filled me with dread. Three years later and I feel forced to recant some of what I once held dear. I now have work and personal mobiles, Facebook, Youtube and Linkedin accounts. In accepting my invitation to be a Facebook friend, Calli rightly observed that I've changed.

Take my stance on the identity card scheme. The disadvantages seemed obvious; the possibility of government misuse, the likelihood of fraud, not to mention the inconvenience and expense. However, my main problem with it now is that it doesn't go nearly far enough. The idea has already been broached in such far-sighted forums as The X Files but surely the time has come to chip us all. It works perfectly well with dogs, our Barbie does not seem to have suffered any adverse reactions to it and we have the peace of mind if she ever gets lost. Certain concerned parents have done it with their children and, who knows, more forward thinking nations might be doing it already?

The advantages are there for everyone to see; a simple smart chip with a barcode installed in the back of our necks, together with the infrastructure to make use of it, would allow quantum leaps in areas as diverse as banking, burglar alarms, shopping and speed traps. A step further maybe, but mugging and knife-crime would be dealt with at a stroke by including Bluetooth or wi-fi technologies in the chip, allowing the last thousand (for example) people you've come into near contact with to be logged. The chip wearer would have an onboard USB port to allow access to the matrix where such modern ways are not common; off-licences or tobacconists for example, police stop and search even. Every one of the million different account numbers and passwords would be replaced by a single personal code, unique and incapable of being copied or tampered with, except by the most extreme and gory intervention. Think of the synergies! The possibilities are endless.

This is all very well but anyone who knows me will already have spotted this ironic right wingery as a pathetic attempt to gain some Facebook friends. I'm not too proud to beg! I only have five and three of them are (very welcome) family members; it doesn't look good. As a special incentive, you will soon be able to see a load of photos of sheep, taken on our Christmas holiday in Snowdonia.