Sparks Spouts

New Bench in Darwen, Lancashire!

2009-02-10T10:06:00.005Z

I cannot add anything to this:

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/darwen/3980661.New_bench_in_Darwen_town_centre/

Lost husband drama in Liverpool M & S

2008-09-10T14:28:00.006+01:00

It's not just children who get lost at the shops. I was involved in a lost husband incident just last week - and it all happened so quickly.

One moment he was there safely at my side (as I stared at the wine selection in Marks and Spencer, in a pretence of understanding anything about it). Next thing I was perusing some greetings cards, when I heard the sound of Karl's voice and that of another man nearby.

I realised to my horror I had lost sight of him between the wine and the card section. Luckily a helpful security guard had seen Karl was becoming distressed and helped him to find me. Karl had given a brief description of me to the caring staff member and soon he was reunited with me....it just shows.

Well done Marks and Spencer. Would we have received this standard of service in for example, Lidl or Aldi?

CB Radio

2008-05-15T10:21:00.003+01:00

Karl posted a question on a forum the other day and got a bit excited when people sent answers / and or moaned about related things because they can.
Dawned on me that we are all like cb radio enthusiasts these days.....and then I got reminded of that Robbie Coltrane advert for internet banking years ago...."We are all bank managers now"..mmmm

Chips and Curry

2008-02-14T16:52:00.002Z

Yesterday I stumbled upon the tastiest chips I have ever eaten.
Me and Karl and the dog got in the car about 5 pm, to drive the beach, to go for a walk.
I changed my mind and decided I wanted to see Urmston instead.
When we got there I saw a chippy that looked good and suggested a cone of chips.
Karl got them and discovered they had been named best chippy in britain (or something similar) that very day and Keith Chegwin had been there. I ate a chip prior to Karl explaining the award so I had not been brain washed into thinking they were greattttt!!

Got in fairly late and couldn't be bothered cooking so got takeaway curry from the Cobra's Den (see earlier post). Unfortunately it wasn't as good as the other times I have eaten from there. Hopefully just a blip and who can complain after those excellent chips.

By the way, if you ever go to Darwen in Lancashire have a curry there. On the main road through town (A666), there are about 3 excellent Indian restaurants.

8 Days in Provence

2008-01-16T11:20:00.000Z

Bonjour mes amies!

I have just returned from the South of France and I can recommend it. Can't see why it hasn't been discovered yet. Someone should write a book about it.

Wild Boar tracking on Gigaro Beach (with the help of an old French man), sipping a beer in the Old Port area of Marseille, (setting for The Count of Monte Cristo), free celery thrown in your bag by the vegetable stall holder at St Tropez market, bizarre bars filled with cowboys who leave for home on their horses, magnificent mountains and wooded hillsides, fabulous wine from Grimaud, hill top forts with views across the Med., ancient churches filled with the ghostly echoes of history.......I could go on and often have.

I believe Diary of an Obo will have one or two additional points to make about the trip and photos will be posted so keep an eye out.

Bye

Cobra's Den Indian Cuisine Mill Lane West Derby Liverpool - Curry Review

2007-11-08T10:03:00.000Z

If you live near to this restaurant I think you will like the food.

A week or so ago I ate takeaway from it and it was gorgeous. My main was Garlic Paneer with a naan and a rice, plus 2 side dishes Brinjal Bhaji and Mushroom Bhaji. The Garlic Paneer was filled with cheese cubes and whole chillis too, very tasty. The sides were mini mild vegetable dishes, which I could have eaten alone with bread. I shared this meal and it was still far too much.

Amazingly I could not fault it.

Merseyminis

2007-10-10T16:10:00.000+01:00

Follow this link to view the Merseyminis Website

http://www.oxyuktechnologies.com/merseyminis/

During the course of this year 5 books are being released celebrating Liverpool, with the following titles:

Landing - Living - Longing - Loving - Leaving

The third book Longing was partly compiled from competition entries. I decided to have a go myself and had my entry chosen (along with lots of others!).

So if you want to read it you'll have to follow the link and buy the box set.

Irish Potato Farls with Spicy Vegetables

2007-08-29T13:20:00.000+01:00

Hello, I am going to describe what I have just eaten. It was very tasty.

I chopped up a bit of orange pepper, about 4/5 mushrooms, a tiny bit of root ginger, a tiny bit of garlic, and about a third of one of those biggish green chilli peppers. I then fried it up in a pan with a little oil, a sprinkle of curry powder and a dash or two of light soy sauce. I toasted 2 small potato farls (I think that is the spelling) and lightly buttered them. Then topped with the fried vegetables......Excellent!!

I think other mixes of veg would be good , but make sure the mushrooms are there, only chop them roughly.

The potato cake thing was bought in a supermarket but fried new potatoes or fried left over mash or soda bread would all be great too.

Rafa Benitez Dream

2007-06-25T14:01:00.000+01:00

I had a strange dream a couple of weeks ago. At the time I could not figure it out at all, but a couple of days later the media rumours about Rafa Benitez being unhappy with things at Liverpool began to circulate. Now I think it was a direct link with the thoughts of the disillusioned Liverpool manager.

In the dream I was walking along a road with Karl and we saw a man ahead of us with two small children. We realised it was Rafa and I felt duty bound to go up and greet him (unusual, as it is really Karl who likes shouting greetings at the famous!).

When we got up to him I said, "Hello" or "Well done" or some other nonsense. He looked at me and he seemed really sad or confused. I held out my hand and he looked at it and removed a knitted red glove from it before he would shake hands with me. Then he left and went inside a building near to us. The children had left a toothbrush and a hairbrush on the pavement.

I have been trying to read lots of symbolic things into it. He was happy to shake hands with me but not with a hand cloaked in red +/or he wanted the gloves off before he got down to business. I am open to suggestions on the meaning of a discarded toothbrush and hairbrush.

Consumer Choice Heaven

2007-04-20T13:08:00.000+01:00

Joy oh joy! I live very near to the biggest Aldi in the country. The new Laird Street store in Birkenhead, has just opened on the site of a closed carpet retailer. The old Aldi store was next door and is now shut waiting to be bought and turned into a carpet retailer (maybe).

I went in today, it is bigger than the old store. It is still nowhere near the size of the Tesco Superstores of this world though. Why just up the road, is a massive Tescos with an upstairs - just imagine, we've never had it so good.

In Aldi I picked up a seeded loaf and a twin pack of toothbrushes, I felt depressed. I shouldn't have, the sun was shining outside and the birds were singing. I had chosen the items in an Aldi induced stupor and was sleepwalking to the till, I fought back and replaced the goods. I didn't want these items, I was just lighting a couple of candles to say a prayer in the 'Big Aldi Church'.

I am home now, just relax.

Marketing

2007-03-12T16:58:00.000Z

I remember when receiving goods in the post was either a sign you were poor or a bit nerdy. The former is shown in the sitcom the Royale Family, Denise and mate Cheryl look through the catalogue endlessly, buying leathers and paying for them for months etc. Alternatively you had someone such as a Times reader getting some fancy tea leaves in a wooden box from a special offer on page 5.

Suddenly though it is simply the best thing ever and not nerdy or common because instead of reading a catalogue with the products in or a newspaper special offer, you order on-line!!

Get over it, your order still arrives through your front door, it does not materialise in your living room.

I hear a similar makeover is coming to coach travel too. Seen for years as transport for the poor dregs of society, it is trying to re-market as a cheap, comfortable and green friendly option for the high flying and pleasing to look at. No matter that it has been all those things for years (I am very pleasing to look at), it has to be sold as a lifestyle, so that people don't think they are being judged poorly by their moronic peers.

Song to Prevent Eye Infection

2007-03-12T16:52:00.000Z

Sing roughly in tune to the chorus of 'Don't Cry for me Argentina'

don't scratch your eye you'll infect it
the truth is dirt will get in it
leave it - or dab it
with a clean hanky
....will come in handy

Stubborn Stickers

2007-03-09T18:01:00.000Z

If you find a hard to remove price sticker on a laminated style book cover, spit on it and rub vigorously with a good qaulity rubber. I suspect it is the action of the salivary amylase. I sell books, so obviously I don't do this myself, unless the book is for personal use.

House Swap

2007-03-08T13:56:00.000Z

This is a general request, if anyone has a house in Liverpool with:

2 - 3 bedrooms
a garden lake (suitable for swimming)
close proximity to a nice park
near to town

would you like to swap with my 2 bedroom house with yard in Birkenhead?

Just something to mull over...

Price of a Pint

2007-02-07T15:39:00.000Z

Jackie Sprat could eat no fat.....

2007-01-16T17:44:00.000Z

My husband and I

Liverpool Performance Poet - G. Broadleaves

2007-01-03T12:56:00.001Z

Me Da

I'm a professional bore from Liverpool 4

Me Da died in the bleedin' war

Me Ma was left dead poor

She scrubbed the step daily to say she was a lady

Me and me brother sang to recover

We entertained dreams of stardom

Fleeing from our troubles on the wings of a mythical bird

Humming a tune the Fab Four had heard

The dream remained just what it was

Yet the rent was still reality

Ta ra, I'll tell you no more

'cept.... I'm the professional bore

From Liverpool 4

You know you'll be back for more...

Submitted by the popular liverpool performance poet and revolutionary:
G. Broadleaves, Woolton, Liverpool, Lancs.

Contrast

2007-01-02T11:25:00.000Z

People often trot out the old cliche about not appreciating the good til you've seen the bad. For example: When you fall ill you really appreciate the first day or so you feel well again.

I have a lot of sympathy with that, I dread "The Cotswold Village Life", (I am aware there are probably some dreadful problems with drug use and house prices in the Cotswolds, but .....).

Surely it would send you insane, shiny windows, well maintained hanging baskets, regularly used and emptied litter bins, confident casual walking at every turn, the slow steady smile of the joyless. ..it would or should send you insane. But if that is all you have known maybe you don't go mad but remain in a continuous state of tedious contentment, I say would it not be kinder to turn off the life support?

Inappropriate Christmas Gifts # 1

2006-12-30T20:31:00.000Z

As you tear off the christmas paper and get the first glimpse of your gift, does your heart sometimes sink as you realise people have no idea what you like or maybe, simply don't care?

I once came across a book which I think was called Hitler a Portrait of Tyranny. I opened the book to find a gift inscription something along these lines: To Auntie Mary, Happy Christmas love John, Jack, Tom or whoever.

To me that seemed wrong, not really in the spirit of the season, but I don't know this Mary and the giver may have been spot on. Maybe it was on her Christmas list.

The book came from Darwen, Lancashire but I don't think there is a connection.

London to Brighton

2006-12-21T12:32:00.000Z

Went to see the film London to Brighton last night. Thought it was very good and a bit like Thelma and Louise British style.

Watched it in 'The Box' at FACT in Liverpool. All a bit disturbing, I took part in the whole smug feel by sipping on a red wine on my sofa as I watched my gritty British thriller.

Everyone storms in and pretends they aren't running for the sofas at the back, so that they can view the rest of the room and lean back on the wall to stop neck ache.

People even baggsie a sofa with a coat and go off to get drinks! What a cheek.

Halton Borough Council Goes Latin Online

2006-12-09T16:55:00.000Z

Need to know how to get around Halton (the Widnes, Runcorn area). Pop along to the local council website (Halton Borough Council) and see how well you do translating the Latin...I am not lieing, surely this is taking inclusion too far, do those who learnt the dead language at school really need to access council websites via it? Maybe.

HINTS IN CASES OF POISONING

2006-11-29T11:19:00.001Z

On reading further (once again) in my favourite book ENQUIRE WITHIN UPON EVERYTHING (published Circa 1920'S-30'S), I have found another item just as useful today as 70 years ago:

1540. HINTS IN CASES OF POISONING

i. Always send immediately for a medical man.

ii. Save all fluids vomited, and articles of food, cups, glasses, etc., used by the patient before being taken ill, and lock them up.

iii. Examine the cups to guide you in your treatment; that is , smell them and look at them.

iv. As a rule give emetics after poisons that cause sleepiness and raving; give chalk, milk, eggs, butter, and warm water, or oil, after poisons that cause vomiting and pain in the stomach and bowels, with purging; and when there is no inflammation about the throat, tickle it with a feather to excite vomiting.

'New' Beatles Album - Love

2006-11-23T11:24:00.000Z

reworked Beatles songs with the help of Sir George Martin:

"Take a good song and make it bad"

Sound Bite Definitions # 1

2006-11-19T17:17:00.000Z

Carbon offsetting:

secular confession for the middle classes

Telephone Voice Volume

2006-10-26T13:18:00.000+01:00

On reading further in my favourite book ENQUIRE WITHIN UPON EVERYTHING (published some time between the world wars I guess), I discover that shouting into phones is not just a problem of the mobile age:

2266. Telephones.

It is surprising that so many people cannot believe that you should talk into a telephone as you would to a friend, enunciating the words clearly and somewhat more slowly than in ordinary conversation. Some think they must shout into the instrument, forgetting that it is as sensitive to speech as a normal ear.

I'll print that point out and distribute it on public transport!